when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
