If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
