Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize