you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
