It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
