just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
