I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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