we're blogging at a bar
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
