You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize