Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i don't like sucking hair
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize