the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
