that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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