You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
