I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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