At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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