i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
