well I can't set my house on fire every night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
