looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
