then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
