If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
