i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
