I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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