I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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