i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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