I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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