He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
