it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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