Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
