If i come over, it means nothing
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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