Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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