I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
