i may or may not be watching the land before time
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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