Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sarcasm needs its own font
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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