Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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