Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
