So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
