Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
