i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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