My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
