who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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