Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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