we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
