Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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