Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Jerry, you need to find god
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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