All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
