Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't turn off my feet"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize