I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
