Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
