Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
found the other keg... it's in the tree
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
