What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
