There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
