Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
