watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize