Where did you get a picture of my penis
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
