so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
