Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
