He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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