So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Buhtt sex?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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