she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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